I’m so thrilled to celebrate the release of my sister’s memoir in Audiobook! The Big Silence: A Daughter’s Memoir of Mental Illness and Healing audiobook by Karena Dawn comes out on May 6, 2025. I’m honored to have several poems in the book, and I was excited that Karena asked me to read and record them for inclusion in the audiobook. ‘I just can’t read them as beautifully as you do,” she said.
I have shared a couple of my poems from the book through The Big Silence podcast, including “I Forgot How to Pray.”
Recording Poetry for The Big Silence Audiobook
I have to say, I was honestly really excited about the whole experience. It was my first time being in a recording studio and working with an audio technician (amazing! Took all those allergy sniffles right out of those files) creating beautiful sounding poems of high quality to be included in the audiobook. Audiobook platforms have incredibly high sound quality standards.
For my recording session I went to Round Table Recording Co. in Broad Ripple (Indianapolis, IN). It was a lovely place and a great experience. For authors, you have the option to sit or stand. I chose standing, because I felt I could breathe better. It was April, and I was having horrible allergies and also horrible anxiety about the nasal sounds, coughing and raspiness. My sound tech, Noah, put me at ease. “Nothing to worry about!” he said. “You can take as many pauses as you need and make all the sounds you want. We’ll just edit those.”
I had five poems to get through. We took a couple of takes for each poem, so that there would be options to cut in during edits. I sipped water. I got through most of them, but I decided to take a break. It was hot, and I was reading a little fast. There was plenty of time to slow down and take my time (and give my ears a rest from boiling in the headphones).
After we finished recording I joined Noah in the sound booth to watch as he crafted the final versions of the poems out of sound waves and squiggles on his computer screen. The whole experience took just under two hours. And they were able to deliver to the specs that the Austin, TX studio, where Karena was recording the rest of the book, needed.
Poems Addressing Homelessness and Mental Illness
My Poem “Homeless” is included in the Audiobook. I read this poem at The Big Silence Live event on tour at Indy Maven Space in Indianapolis. It was a finalist for the Coniston Prize in Radar Poetry a few years back.
My poem, “the road” included in The Big Silence was a finalist for that Coniston Prize, as well. The other poems, “I forgot how to pray,” “Bedroom Dysmorphia” and “I want to sing a song” are exclusive to the memoir.
“the road” and “Homeless” are from a series of poems that struggle to understand my estrangement with my mother and to understand the instability she lived through in her life. My mom (Linda Joy) lived with a diagnosis of schizophrenia and untreated depression throughout most of her life. She would often isolate and withdraw from society, preferring to exist in the fringes of our world. At times she would spend months of her life on the road or homeless, even bartering to survive. She left our family when I was a teen and our relationship was inconsistent for the rest of her life. In the poems I have reimagined her in my head…a character who becomes my imagined mother, based on the few details I did know about her life. I mean, the gaps in my life and relationship with her, and understanding the trauma and mental health issues surrounding the whole situation are honestly a big part of my creative impulse. Perhaps compulsively so.
After she passed away I struggled with all the ways I did not know her, and I’ve written about that before. The poem “I want to sing a song” tried to capture some of that sense, too.
“I want to sing a song” was written after my mother’s death, about the experience at her final resting place as my sister and I spread her ashes. In my current manuscript (looking for a publisher!) it’s retitled, “For Linda Joy.” At her grave I did feel that she finally had some sense of peace. The sorrows of her life were over.
Actually, “I Forgot How to Pray” is a song. I have written just a couple, and my father, Nick Ivanovich, has put them to music. On his album Good Soil the song is called “Every Side is Sliding.” It’s a poem (and song) that tries to acknowledge our ability to change direction in life and find hope again.
The poem “Bedroom Dysmorphia” was written when I was a bit younger and seeks to capture the haunted feeling I had as a girl. You’ll have to get the book (page 85 if you have it) or the audiobook to check that one out!
Honor Mental Health Awareness Month By Celebrating Our Stories
May is Mental Health Awareness Month; it’s a time to raise awareness about mental health and behavioral health, reduce stigma, and encourage support for those affected by mental health conditions. Sharing our stories of illness, resilience, grief, pain, and healing are so important to creating hope and helping people to know that they are not alone. The Big Silence audiobook by Karena Dawn is going live on May 6.
Karena’s Trailer and Sample for The Big Silence Audiobook:
The audiobook releases May 6, and she has some fun bonuses and gifts for pre-orders. Karena has also recorded live “therapy” sessions that go beyond the pages of the memoir. I am so impressed with this beautiful project and I hope you will support it!! Buy the memoir now on your favorite audiobook platform. Let me know what you think of it!
Rachel Sahaidachny 